Considered causing massive injuries to another person? Someone you love? Like, I don't know, your children who will be 18 in just a few days and should totally be able to take a punch...you know, just as an example.
Now, let me say that I love my children dearly. I would lay down my life for them, and I will never stop loving them, no matter what. It's also worth noting that I would feel really bad about it if I hurt them. I mean really bad...like smack my head on the floor bad.
How are you be almost 18 and can't get your damn chores done? How can you be almost 18 and not remember a gosh damned thing? How can you be almost 18, know what pisses your parents off and continue to do those things? Seriously, have you no sense of self-preservation children?
For two hours this afternoon, Alex and I went back and forth with Devin and Gavin. About their lack of responsibility at home and with school, about their amazing responsibility at work, and why we can't get a little of that at home. I mean jeez, their chores take maybe an hour and a half a week total. Really? You can't give an hour and a half a week for your rent, board, clothing, video games, entertainment and undying love and support? Really?
Now, lest you think the boys totally suck (they don't, but today was definitely a greatest hits of suckiness sort of a day), they are great kids. Decent students (B average), great with kids, animals and old people. They've had the same jobs for over three years, they don't drink and party like I did at their age, and they are reliable for every adult that isn't Alex and I. Just good guys all around, the big problem they have is that they can't seem to follow through on things. Like homework, chores, college applications, making plans....you know, life!
So, you know, the urge to cause them pain is sometimes high. Tonight it's all mellow--good dinner, fun hanging out after taking Christmas down today. Alex and I are not feeling great, and they are worried and helpful. For them, the drama is over. For me, it may be a long night.
Char, thanks for posting this. It sounds like your boys have certainly learned some great values from you in terms of their professional work ethic and social behavior, but have totally taken your mothering for granted. And that is probably easy to do: you're awesome and you're always there... a rock of Gibraltar in their lives. Why should they not continue to expect your unfaltering love, support and long-suffering in the areas where they choose to be less than stellar? There will soon come a day when baby birds decide to leave the nest (or mommy bird kicks them over the edge) and they will realize how great they had it.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, baby!
Hooooooooooooonnney. Yes, I feel your pain (you know darn well I do). All I can say it that you have raised them very well and that frankly speaking this is "normal". It is not to say that you shouldn't want to harm a person. It's exasperating...why are boys brilliant and funny and caring and **responsible** out "there" and ding-dongs at home?
ReplyDeleteCause they can be.
And on a side-note. I remember you at 18 and while you had some fun, I don't recall any hardcore partying...:P Nothing we did back then was close to what's out there today (eek).
As Steve said..."hang in there" (cause it won't last forever, I swear...:)
LY.