So, I haven't done this in a bit, and my last entry was pretty damn introspective. Let me assure you this is far less likely to be so.
I made stew today. For those of you who don't know me well, I make stuff in large batches. Last year I was in charge of the football dinners--feeding 70 kids about every other week. This was right up my alley. I have big pots. I cook big--chili, pasta, meatballs, you name it really.
So, stew.
This afternoon I said to Alex and Gavin (Devin was at work) "What would you like for dinner?" Alex had no input (sometimes he is super specific, most times though, he really would rather skip the whole conversation), but Gavin said "Beef stew." So, while I was out running errands today I picked up the fixins'. Beef, onions, potatoes, carrots, broth, peas. All good stuff. Now, Alex hates stew. Doesn't understand why anyone would take perfectly good ingredients and boil them before eating them.
Now, skip to the good part. The boys left at ten minutes after 7 tonight, and the stew was ready at 7:45. This means there is a giant pot of stew on the stove, Alex and I ate some (one of us had two bowls....bet you can guess which one), and some will go to the various folks I take food to--my Grammy, my Mom, the boys boss, and I will take some to work for lunch on Monday--might even have some to put in the freezer.
So, this is forcing me to think about the fact that the boys have lives. There, I've said it. They have lives. One of them even has a (gulp) girl friend. I separated the words on purpose because I don't know if that term is official, but they are certainly dating. I'm guessing that as they get more and more independent I will have more and more dinners that are eaten by two of us instead of four.
My question--should you choose to answer it is this: Does it get less annoying? Easier? Normal? Okay, that was three questions, but you get the picture.
On a side note, the stew was really yummy, and Alex actually ate it :)
I told you this one wasn't deep.
If it makes you feel any better, I dislike stew myself. JR makes it (puts alot of effort into it, just like you do) and I smile, nod and enjoy something else. Not my thang!
ReplyDeleteAnd oh, how we are on parallel paths...we only have Nicky at home for dinner I'd say...40% of the time, as in comparison to this time, last year. Yep...it's quiet. Quiet is a little hard to get used to, but it will be ok, I promise!
I agree with my wonderful spouse. I am good about allowing the kids to grow and do as they need to. I respect their lives reluctantly but I remember that at that age, although I feel I was much more mature, I had a whle other life that had nothing to do with my family. I have to remember that and excpet it. It sucks. It hurts and it scares the crap out of me.
ReplyDeleteSo, you are not alone and I send all the strenght and guidance I can for you to allow them the same room they need as you did growing up. It is tough but they need it. They have earned it really. Just like we did. As tears start to well now I have yet again had to let go of my children just in this thought.
Thank you for sharing! It means a lot to see one posting these thoughts openly.
Well, though I am not there age-wise I get a little glimpse whenever they are with their dad for the week, incl. weekend. At first I was scared thinking that I'm losing control over every aspect of their life (and give it to Todd) but because I saw them after school it was OK. However, that changed when Todd lost his job and I wouldn't actually get to see them for the whole time so I ended up visiting them after school really quick just to hug them.
ReplyDeleteNow that we've been doing this for a while I enjoy some time alone because I can concentrate on schoolwork and plan something adult-like in the evenings. Daniel has his Dungeon and Dragon meetings and Dillon has sleep-overs and even though I think that's great it does give me a glimpse of the future and I just don't like the idea that they will let other people into their lives who will have more influence over them than I do. After all, aren't I the only one who suppose to know best?
So, to sum it up, I am looking forward to the physical freedom to some extend, but not the mental or emotional freedom. They need their mom whether they'll realize it or not. ;)