Where the heck have I been?............

Well, the short story is that I've been busy.  The boys graduated.  The East Coast Grandparents visited for a week.  There was a big graduation party.  Then there was the big summer party, which contained a big surprise for one of us---Hint, hint, it was Alex--we did a vow renewal for our 15th anniversary, and he didn't know about it until the Minister arrived.  Definitely one of my finest moments :)

Then there was the vacation.  Have I mentioned we had an incredible, relaxing, pampering, zero responsibility vacation?  The West Coast Grandparents, Alex, the kids and I all went to Alaska on a 10 day cruise (Thank you Squeak!).

I think I had forgotten how to fully relax.  The only responsibility any of us had for 10 days was sending postcards and being at meals/excursions on time.  If you've never cruised, I highly recommend it--we liked it so well that we are ready to go again.

Then it was back to work, and here's the thing, they keep trying to steal my relaxed attitude.  So far, I've fended them off, by going to my Happy Place, but I fear they are going to keep pounding away at it!!!!

Here's hoping that everyone is enjoying their summer.  I'll make a concerted effort to try to babble more often, I really enjoy reading other people's blogs, and I'm still working on posting to mine regularly.

So, until the next time, adieu.

Wow

High School graduation (not mine, though thanks for the compliment, the boys).  I can't believe that the years have gone by so quickly--especially when some of the days (an nights) have been so long.

I'm looking at three things as I write this--Gavin and Devin's diplomas, a list of things I need to get for their graduation party tomorrow and two giant boxes of Costco plastic cutlery.  One box is full of spoons, the other of forks.  Both are the kind of boxes that come with spoons, forks and knives, and yet I have only about a dozen knives, and about 240 each of spoons and forks.  How does that happen?  Somewhere in there is a metaphor for life.

Spoons and forks are useful, but it takes a knife to do the job correctly?  It's one thing to scoop, another to spear, but cutting is the most satisfying?  Not sure, just know it's in there somewhere.

Our 18 year old young men (I have to put the young in front or it's just too much) are at their friend Nick's house for his grad party--I was there for a chunk, and his clan will be here tomorrow.  They are the Three Musketeers, joined at the hip, etc.  When Nick goes away to school in September I am expecting some long faces and sad boys--even though they'll be starting a new school year themselves, without their Nick, I expect them to be a bit sad.

They are now licensed drivers--you've all been warned--high school graduates, and as far as the law is concerned, they're adults.

How is that possible?  Although it doesn't feel like I just graduated high school, surely it was only college graduation a few years ago.  Didn't they just start kindergarten last year?

That first day of kindergarten, Alex and I both took the day off--me because I was too devastated to go to work, him because he was afraid if he didn't, I'd spend the whole day sitting outside of the classroom and looking in the window.  He might well have been right, but he took me to breakfast and a movie and made me wait until an hour after the afterschool program started to go get them so they "had" to do the transition.

He's good at that.  Making me let go just a little bit.  He's just as strict and protective as I am, but has a better understanding of when they need to spread their wings and move a bit.  I absolutely credit Alex with helping the boys learn boundaries for themselves, and make some mistakes, fall down a bit and learn to pick themselves up.

If it were up to me, they'd leave the house everyday wrapped in bubble wrap.  Not appropriate perhaps, but true.

Tomorrow we will host lots of family and friends wishing the boys well, congratulating them and helping us to celebrate their accomplishments.  Everyone coming to the house tomorrow (and lots more folks who either can't make it or are no longer with us in one way or another) has influenced our boys.  We see it in their caring, compassion, volunteer work, selflessness, temper, sense of humor, sense of the ridiculous and overall personality.

Thanks to everyone who has influenced Devin and Gavin--the good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful. The boys wouldn't have made it with such grace without all of you.  Most of all though, thank you to my fantastic husband, honey, you are an amazing friend, husband, companion, father, comedian, cheerleader, teacher and orchestrator of all things good in my life.  I'm looking forward to the rest of my life and all our new adventures--this one has turned out pretty well overall.

Happy Birthday To Me

In the last few minutes of my birthday, I just wanted to say a quick thank you to Alex, Devin, Gavin and everyone else who took the time to stop and think about me on this, my 42nd birthday.

I know that 42 is old to some and young to others, for me it just feels strange.

I have known my husband more than half my life, and I love him more now than the day I married him.  I am the mother to twin adult children.  I am blessed to have my grandmother, mother, aunts, in-laws, uncle, cousins and quite a few really great friends.  I have a career I like which pays the bills, volunteer work that makes me feel good, and I hope contributes to the health and well-being of my community.

Thanks to the few of you who read these random ramblings, I appreciate your feedback and support.  Here's to making 42 a great year filled with love, laughter and enough luck to make it all that much more interesting.

A funny thing happened on the way to the dinner.......

For those of you who know me, this is going to make you laugh--a lot.

Last Friday night Alex, Devin, Gavin and I were getting ready for the Kainos Annual Dinner.  It's about 175 people in the room, all members of the "choir" if you will.  This is staff, donors, volunteers and supporters of a fabulous organization which provides vocational training and support as well as group living situations for developmentally disabled adults.  We volunteer there, and on Friday I was tasked with presenting a new fundraising campaign to this room of folks-many of whom I know well and all of whom are already supporters of Kainos.

I had been trying to put together what I was going to say for a couple of days, and had been unable to come up with something I liked.  Alex tried to help--he is amazing with coming up with catchy phrases and apt things to say to folks, but I just wasn't really feeling any of it.  I made notes.  Then I wrote out a whole speech.  None of it was quite right.

So then it was Friday evening, I came running in the door after work, started getting dressed, and Alex and I were going over all of the things I COULD say.  This is the part where it gets funny.

I was nervous.  I'm never nervous speaking in public--it may be one of my more irritating qualities.  I am often nervous when I have to do one on one conversations, especially if they are uncomfortable.  I can't remember the last time I was so nervous I couldn't put a sentence together, though, until last Friday night.

I had some notes, I knew what I needed to say, but I just didn't know what I was going to say until the moment I got to the podium.

Alex was (understandably) worried.  The boys thought it was sort of funny.

I did it though.  Got up there and spoke--supposedly pretty well.  I cracked a joke (a little bit I threw Alex under the bus, because when we left the house Alex said "Just don't make me look dumb, okay?") it drew a pretty good laugh.

I came up with two sayings today that seem to apply:

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do."  Eleanor Roosevelt
"Those who say it can't be done should get out of the way of those doing it."  Chinese proverb

Neither fits perfectly, but they do go along with my theory in life--the answer most often lies in forward motion, even when you've got the direction wrong.

Good night all--I hope your week goes well.

Do what you can, don't focus on what you can't do.

Japan.

Last week if I had said Japan, people would have wondered-vacation, business, new friend, new fascination.  Now the only possible response is.....WOW.

I get earthquakes and I get tsunamis.  I get that they happen, and I get the devastation that they cause.  I understand instinctively that horrible things happen all over the world everyday, disasters both natural and manmade, but this.  This is visceral.  It's horrible and shocking and it's happening.

We can donate money.  We can plan for our own disaster preparedness.  We can become CERT (Community Emergency Response Team) members.  We can pray, send strength and courage to those we know and those we don't.  We can do all those things, and we do and will.

What we can't do is let it take over our day to day lives.  We have to more forward, go to work and school, complain about kids and co-workers.  Put out a helping hand in your community, in your neighborhood, in your family.  Contribute to the big stuff--please do that.  Also remember to do the small stuff.

Not surprisingly, I am frustrated by the boys.  Not giant sized frustration, just constant small frustrations.  They don't pay attention to their grades, they don't take care of their responsibilities, they take more than than give at every turn in the house.  Outside of the house, they are great guys.  They have earned a lot of respect in out community, at their school, with their friends, with out family and with our friends.  Great kids, but they can't seem to focus on what they can do.

I don't have any huge thing tonight, just that I keep telling them that they have to focus on what they can do, take care of their responsibilities and move forward.

Advice I could maybe use a little of.  

That's it, just do what we can do and don't focus on what we can't do.

Tuesday night heaviness with a touch of hope

I am a member of the Redwood City Housing and Human Concerns Committee.  Part of the Committee's job is to administer Community Development Block Grants.  These are funds that come through the Federal government for us to administer within Redwood City because the city fits specific criteria regarding our populations demographics.

All of this is a complicated way of saying that I am part of a committee that solicits applications from agencies who provide direct services to Redwood City citizens who fall into several categories, including seniors, low-income, homeless, disabled and other under-served folks in the community.

Tonight we had our funding deliberations.  Which means that after receiving far more applications than we had available funding, we deliberated and put forward recommendations to the City Council.

All this means that over the last few weeks, I and my fellow committee members have been reviewing applications from non-profits, listening to representatives and clients from these organizations and tonight debating what they do, how many people they serve, and who best fits the parameters to receive these funds.

It was depressing as hell.  No lie, worst year in the five I have been involved with this committee.  We had approximately one-fourth of the funding that was requested.  It was tough, and some great organizations didn't receive funding, and none of them received the full amount of their request.  Truly depressing is the fact that many of the organizations have had their funding from other sources and their fundraising dip because of cut backs and the economy.

Now for the hope.  No really, it's in here.

Each of these organizations, and many like them in other communities accept donations in the form of cash, other assets and volunteer hours.  This means that we, each one of us who lives in a community have an opportunity to support those of our citizens who most need help through our donations.

If you already volunteer--at your child's school, at an organization that you have a personal connection to, through your church, wherever, that's great.  If you already donate to charities in your community, that's also great.

If you don't, or if you can do more, think about it.

A venti latte at Starbucks costs $4, more if you get syrup or other add-ons.  A donut costs about $1.  Lunch out at work costs anywhere from $3-20.

Times are tough, I don't mean to sound preachy, but the statistics are terrifying.  Unemployment is out of control, we are likely looking at several years before we have a significant financial recovery.  There are people in our communities who need help, and many of us are in the position to provide help.

You think that your few dollars won't help or make a significant dent, but they will.  Agencies can leverage your small donation and point to it as community support when they apply for larger grants or other private matching funds.  Those same agencies call out the number of volunteer hours donated per year as a part of their bottom line on services provided to their communities.

That's the touch of hope.  No matter how bad things get, no matter how desperate these agencies and these community members get, there are always people who can help.  That's us, folks, it's us--because if we don't do it, and don't encourage our friends to do it, who will?

Sorry to be preachy--I'm off the soapbox now, and getting ready to head to bed.  What did you do tonight?

Stuff and Such

So, I haven't done this in a bit, and my last entry was pretty damn introspective.  Let me assure you this is far less likely to be so.

I made stew today.  For those of you who don't know me well, I make stuff in large batches.  Last year I was in charge of the football dinners--feeding 70 kids about every other week.  This was right up my alley. I have big pots.  I cook big--chili, pasta, meatballs, you name it really.

So, stew.

This afternoon I said to Alex and Gavin (Devin was at work) "What would you like for dinner?"  Alex had no input (sometimes he is super specific, most times though, he really would rather skip the whole conversation), but Gavin said "Beef stew."  So, while I was out running errands today I picked up the fixins'.  Beef, onions, potatoes, carrots, broth, peas.  All good stuff.  Now, Alex hates stew.  Doesn't understand why anyone would take perfectly good ingredients and boil them before eating them.

Now, skip to the good part.  The boys left at ten minutes after 7 tonight, and the stew was ready at 7:45.  This means there is a giant pot of stew on the stove, Alex and I ate some (one of us had two bowls....bet you can guess which one), and some will go to the various folks I take food to--my Grammy, my Mom, the boys boss, and I will take some to work for lunch on Monday--might even have some to put in the freezer.

So, this is forcing me to think about the fact that the boys have lives.  There, I've said it.  They have lives.  One of them even has a (gulp) girl friend.  I separated the words on purpose because I don't know if that term is official, but they are certainly dating.  I'm guessing that as they get more and more independent I will have more and more dinners that are eaten by two of us instead of four.

My question--should you choose to answer it is this:  Does it get less annoying?  Easier?  Normal?  Okay, that was three questions, but you get the picture.

On a side note, the stew was really yummy, and Alex actually ate it :)

I told you this one wasn't deep.